Third Letter to Dear Grimmi: Kindness as a Policy.
I hope you read this, Grimmi, though I shall abstain from "pinging" you. I just want you to know that I appreciate your kindness since it seems authentic, well-informed, and wise. My criticism rather was for those who grow *dependent* on that sort of sentiment. They either seek to emulate it as a form of flattery or try to go so far as to enforce it as a substitute for policy. They lack discretion and don't recognize those situations wherein "meanness" is appropriate instead, as though there were not countless errors worse than being "mean", such errors that can*not* be solved by kindness. They do not use kindness as a form of social currency or merit, but instead demand it unconditionally, which of course is a barbaric tendency. When others treat them less than kindly, they do not observe the error in themselves but rather in the critic; they assume that "harshness" is no more than "failure to be kind", instead of recognizing harsh...